Cafe Chat~Step of Faith

Here is the assignment: Tell about one time in the past 5 years where you took a HUGE Step of Faith in your journey with the Lord. What was the outcome?

I would have to say that it wasn't so much a leap of faith as it was a test of faith. Almost two years ago we had a rough patch in our lives and we relied on our faith to get us through. Being a Christian was something new to us, less than a year old really. For those of you who know us, this story isn't so new. But you may not know what my take on it is. How I felt about God during that time and how it changed our family.

Basically, the day after Christmas 2005 our house burned down. We lived on an acre of land in East Texas and our neighbor (who was an empty acre away from us), decided to burn some trash in his yard. The wind picked it up and caught the empty lot next to us on fire. And being overgrown as it was, it took off pretty quick.

I really don't want to go into details right now, or ever really. I don't ever plan on revisiting that again. It's obviously not a happy time and it is really upsetting to me thinking of that day and knowing that it's forever in my children's memory.

But we were extremely blessed and we all made it out safe. I think that Aaron's faith was more tested at that point. The generosity of strangers and family was overwhelming to us. We were going to be okay and we definitely thanked God for that.

Six days after the fire, my grandpa passed away. We were given a couple of day's notice that he was in bad shape and we needed to get out to California to see him. I couldn't go. We didn't have the money and we were still dealing with going through our burned out house to salvage what we could. My mom tried to get out there quickly but she didn't get a flight out in time.

I didn't get mad at God like I had before when both my dad, and more so, my brother died. I actually felt grateful that he had released my grandpa from any pain he had. For the first time I realized that God wasn't punishing me by taking someone I loved, he was saving them. And how wonderful it must be to be in Heaven, bathed in God's love 24/7.

Nineteen days later, my great grandmother passed away. I was mad at myself this time. Every Christmas Eve I call my Aunt Ruth's house to talk to my family and wish them a merry Christmas. I totally forgot that year. But there was nothing I could do to change it. My heart broke for my Aunt Ruth (who happens to be my most favorite relative in the whole world). She wasn't ready for her mom to go.

A couple of months later my mom's best friend passed away suddenly and at that point I told God that it was enough! I had made it through the last few months and kept my faith but my patience was starting to wear thin. Looking back, it was an extremely hard time in our life. But I think that the outcome was that we trusted in God to carry us through. And he did. And we are okay, and life goes on, and the sun still shines and bird's still sing. That's just the way it goes.

So there is my answer to the question. I may not always be a good Christian, but in my heart I am trying and hopefully one day it will show on the outside too. God's still working on me.