Sunday, June 21, 2009

my brother

Happy Father's Day! I will have tons of pics to post later of our Father's Day but first I wanted to post about my brother Jason. He was killed in a car accident 13 years ago today. It also happens to be the summer solstice, making it the longest day of the year.

It was the worst day of my life and I still think about him everyday and I miss him everyday and I wish that my kids could have known him. I think they would have loved him. He did get to meet Anthony one time but he died when Anthony was 3 weeks old.

Here is my favorite picture of us. I only have 3 pictures of us really. This picture, taken on my 18th birthday, and 2 prom pictures which my mom has somewhere.

Here is a poem I wrote for him. I'm sure I've post it here somewhere before, but I thought I would share again.

For Jason

Time stood still.

I held my breath.

I thought that if I let it out

time would rush back in,

and the reality of you gone

would set back in,

and I would have to manage

through it for another day.

All I can do is hold on to

what memories I have left,

maybe a picture or two.

Time steals sounds and smells.

It's sometimes cruel

and twisted,

robbing me of what little I have.

Without you here there is so

little to take.

So I hold my breath

while time stands still.

A forgotten memory rushes back

and I smile,

wishing you were here to reminisce with me.

But I'll take what I can get.

A brief moment

that takes us back.

Then I exhale,

and wake up from my dream.


Dina said...

bigs hugs to you today, sweetie! I am so very sorry for your loss :(

Melanie said...

I can't even imagine what that must feel like. {{hugs}}